Friday, May 15, 2009

The atheist and the m'shaberach

by TikunOlam

I noticed DYS complaining on a recent thread that the DovBear team members aren't pulling their weight. He made me feel guilty, so I thought I'd write about what has been going through my mind the last couple of days.

My son was released from the hospital yesterday after a two day stay for asthma related problems. He is doing well, thank you.

During his stay, our rabbi visited. Our rabbi is not just "our rabbi," his daughter and son-in-law also happen to be two of our closest friends so he is also a family friend. His visit was very much appreciated as I happen to think he is one of the finest men I know, not to mention, great with my son. While he was there, he said a m'shaberach (a prayer, in this case for the sick) for my son.

I am the kind of person who is really good in a crisis. I kept it together from the moment I knew we had to go to the ER, through all the tests and my son's tears, through being told he would have to stay a couple of nights in the hospital. But when my rabbi said the m'shaberach, I lost it.

My husband looked at me and asked, "why is it that the Jewish stuff makes you cry?" He, of course, was referring to the fact that I am a professed atheist. He had also seen the same reaction in me just less than two months before.

A number of weeks ago, I stayed with my sister over shabbat (my sister is OJ) in the hospital after she went through emergency surgery. She is doing great, thank you.

As it happened, the day after her surgery, my oldest had his Torah reading debut in school. His school teaches children to layn as part of the curriculum. Over the course of the school year, each child layns for the grade with parents and grandparents invited to attend. It is considered a very important milestone in the life of a student at this school. As a part of the morning davening that day, the class said a m'shaberach for the ill, and invited the children to come up and offer names of individuals that they knew who were ill. When they did this I was working so hard on fighting back tears that I couldn't even get there to add in my sister's name.

When my husband asked me what was up with all this, all I could respond was that hearing the m'shaberachs made it really hit me how sick my son (and my sister) were. He didn't buy it. When I mentioned it to DB (who, BTW, was a very supportive friend through these scary couple of days) he said "You're still someone who was raised OJ. That doesn't go away." Perhaps he is right. Whatever the reason, it certainly gave me pause to think.

Search for more information about atheists who cry during m'shaberachs at 4torah.com.

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