Thursday, August 25, 2005

Suppose we had school vouchers

Suppose we had school vouchers*....

Day 1: School vouchers announced. Hurrray!

Day 2: Yeshivot raise tuitions. "If you could afford $6000 before vouchers, why can't you afford $10,000 now?" school administrators demand.

Day 3: Christian bible schools proliferate. Among the subjects: Christian math, Christian history , Christian geography, Christian Science, Christian music, and Christian discipline.

Day 4: Public schools collapse, losing the most important introduction to other cultures, people and beliefs that most Americans get. [via Mis-Nagid]

Day 5: Tests show that the average Christian is about as well-educated and knoeldgable about the larger world as is the average yeshiva student. Meanwhile, the average Christian parent has become as financially pinched as his Jewish counterpart, and the average Christian school administrator has become wealthy and jaded. In other words, school vouchers have done for the Christians what the yeshiva system did for the Jews. Hurray.

Day 6: Fringe groups, like Aryan Nation, the KKK, and the Nation of Islam say, "Me too," and open schools so that they, too, can capitalize on the voucher stream of revenue. Their graduates, suffice it to say, are not among the enlightened and the tolerant.

Day 7: GOP-people review the havoc school vouchers have wrecked and blame everything on the liberals.

[*What are school vouchers? The standard program proposed in dozens of states across the country would distribute monetary vouchers (typically valued between $2,500-$5,000) to parents of school-age children. Parents could then use the vouchers towards the cost of tuition at private schools.]

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